* wisdom * Wisdom * WISDOM *
may those spiritual blindfolds be lifted and burned
God is SO good and when you're in need of some scripture
he sure gives it to ya!
I lack sleep but R.E.M. gets in full effect
My sight ques in and lighting starts to inflect.
I prayed to God the other night after I had got home from AA:
My friends had then called me to go to the hookah bar, and I wanted to go. Mostly because it was only 10 o'clock and I tired yet awake. SO I asked for some scripture to help guide my decision:
Now I usually don't trust what comes up in my head so I usually just flip open a bible and trust God will open it to the right readings.
As soon as the paging was established I grinned with astonishment and praise. I immediately rejoiced in the lord as I had finally found the "guide" that would help me most with my shortcomings.
-now, here's what I mean with being "Spiritually blinded."
***the inability to recognize the greater significance of a situation other what is physically in front of you... -could all that be summed up with just one word?? hmmm.. worldliness maybe?
I dreamed that night and all I could recall was that I had died but I was still alive. oxymoronic it may be, and even I had thought nothing of it. But I told my mom while remember it all and she confirmed to me something I really needed to be told. She said "The old you died, and the new you lives on."
Thinking about it I recalled laying in a closed casket, dead as a doornail, yet thoughts were running through my head as a normal day would bring.
And Just now I realized what it meant. My dead body was actually representation of my struggles, torments, and illnesses I've faced. And though they were no longer "active" or "alive," If I were to leave them behind and forget about them, then all I gained from making it through would parish. and we all know what happens to the house with no foundation..
Last night's dreams just blows me away. Determined, I was running. In and out of highly concentrated highway interstates. Desperately chasing someone, might have been something, but It was repetitive events of attempt and fail. attempt and fail. I was hit by cars challenged with timing and outsmarting my focus (running across a packed freeway with cars going by at 70+ mph is insane... even as a dream it was freaking intense!).
Getting hit by 3 cars would usually kill a man, but my dream would start over immediately, more like a video game with infinite* lives. Only every time I started over, I would forget everything that would stand in my path ahead. Sooner or later I was recognizing the the landscapes more and more, and once I was recognizing the tougher stages of my objective, the closer I got to catching whatever it was I wanted to catch.
I finally figured out a matrix of events that needed to be performed and I caught "my shadow." An Arabic man of christian belief then appeared and we were standing in what looked like some sort of Holy sanctuary/ grave yard.
He spoke to me in commending my efforts, that I was soon to be ready to face the world and not only my shadows. He then asked me to lay on a table under as he began to pray over me.
The rumble in his vocal chords matched three separate tones. and spread like thunder through the Holy ground. My initial reaction was a state of Awe, and then fear as This man spoke a three syllable statement and pain struck from deep within my chest. -here's where things got strange.
-you remember Aliens & Predators I'm sure..
Oddly enough, there was an alien sticking half way out of my chest but not through my shirt. I was told not to let it see light but I did anyways. this tiny alien looked at me, screeched, and tried to make its way back into my chest.
I grabbed the head and rrrripped as hard as I could. the body sank back into me, but the head of the devil was dead in my palms.
THEN I just... woke up!
My attempts in the chase, doing things over and over and over until I got them right, were non other than challenges I faced many times over. many times where I didn't recognize them to be the same challenges I faced earlier in life.
My shadow I think, is a little tricky. It could be seen as sinful desires, my past, denial, and even just pure bait.
-I starred "infinite" because through Jesus we are always forgiven of our mistakes and debts and renewed (to be made pure) with the mercy he gives to us. NO MATTER WHAT DECISIONS WE MAKE IN THIS LIFE, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO MAKE THE RIGHT* DECISION LATER TO COME. we just have to recognize those opportunities beyond the physical perspective, and open our eyes to the works the God does for us every day of our lives.
In order to see God working in your life, you must be WILLING to see God work in your life. Come to know Him as he knows you, inside and out.
-most often when God is working in your life the most is actually when we are most distant from Him. this is due to the changes we have to make in our lifestyles and having done whatever has to in order for those changes to be made.
THAT's how much God cares for us and Loves us.
And THAT's why the other night when I my spiritual blindfold of the importance of the Bible was lifted, I realized that most everything I had learned in the past 2-3 years, through hardships and torment and struggle, could have all been very well learned from the bible. Proverbs is PURE WISDOM. and not to be taken literally in most cases making it challenging to understand.
-I used to think that everybody learns the "hard way" in life. Not true. In fact, God chose those who struggle more than the average person to sort of.. say "Take one for the Team." Doing something for the benefit of a greater number than yourself. ei. seeing an active grenade land on the floor and jumping on it chest down so that your platoon could reach their final objective. Hanged on a cross with the weight of the world in sins, so that someday WE could see the "final objective."
I don't know where God is taking with all of this, other than what I have faced and will face is going to benefit others than myself. possibly saving future christians from the hardships similar to what I've managed so far.
I'm starting a bible study for Proverbs. Cause the scriptural basis for much of my morality can be found within those pages, many which I wish I were still pure of.
-i'm really kicking myself for never reading the bible up until the past year or so :(
Wow Where did all this come fro I had no clue that I was going to type this much.. WHAT?? HAHAHAHAHAHA
I love feeling morally accomplished in the truths to what we are all here for! :)