|letting it out for a moment or three
||[Aug. 30th, 2006|04:46 pm]
I made a major mistake. lost part of who I am. |
and I lead myself to believe in trust..
again. Only to get burned as my scarred-
body remembers the twenty two-passed moons dating back to
the night where her inconcieveble actions
ripped all the thread from my admirable lifes' work,
a tapestry which I sowed with my own being.
apart, i'm falling.
away, i'm feeling.
alone, i am.
Justin..I miss you...a lot...
I miss you too, Lauren. I'm doing good now but I did something I never thought I'd do, and it hurts so much more with the additional heartlessness I recieved from the party from which my mistake was bron to. Thank God for the Grace of his Love and that he had his son die not only for our sins, but for our guilt as well! I learned a lot from my whole experience this past few weeks, like a much-needed enhancement of appreciation for my parents. Also finding the true difference between love and lust. In all honesty, I feel it needed to happen this way. For some reason in my personal history, the only way I can learn lessons is the hard way. And it helps me to feel better about it knowing that this must have been part of Gods plan and that maybe for once I am doing the "right thing." But dearly, very very dearly, I am missing you Lauren Fenn. In fact, tomorrow I'm going to see if I can go with my familly tomorrow as they are going to check out Bethel (you are there now, am I right?)! I haven't even got to talk to you about your missions trip to Germany!? Wow it's been way to long. I'll let you know if I end up going tomorrow. I was really glad to hear from you once again- truly. and Hope to see you sometime tomorrow!
Any details you need to talk about, remember that I am here for you, Justin..especially in prayers. You have always found ways of bouncing back, just make sure this is one of those things that you truly count as a mistake and don't return to it. in Joel 2, it talks about returning to God and the full abundance of his grace. Repentance isn't a chance for us to feel shame, but rather for us to rejoice that God has redeemed us! "Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." -Joel 2:13.
It would be so good to see you again. Supposedly, I am coming back with your family...because my mom was supposed to be coming to get me but now is not. But yeah, obviously from that..I am at Bethel..and I love it.
So much has happened since Germany..so much happened in Germany. Definitely call or something cos I'd love to get together sometime this weekend and talk!
Hope to see you tomorrow, too!